Inspiration & Expert Advice on What Matters Most

Posts Tagged ‘Africa’

“To the Girl I once Was”

In Beauty, Career, Contributors, Finances, Lifestyle, Relationships, Spirituality on September 3, 2013 at 08:44

By Nena Ubani aka Duchess

Nena Ubani aka Duchess

I spent my teenage years and my 20s trying so hard to fit in. Energy I feel should have been spent more productively. Now in my early 30s, I feel most comfortable with myself and sometimes wonder if I was given a chance to communicate to the girl I once was, what would I tell her?

To the girl I once was

If I had a chance to meet you,

I would tell you to ‘chill’

Life is not a competition

Do not put too much pressure on yourself

Aspire to be happy and do the things you love

It’s impossible to please people all the time

Beauty is truly from within, so it’s ok to go out without make-up sometimes

Designer bags and shoes are not investments

Keeping up with trends does not define you

True friends would love you just as you are

Fulfillment comes from living the life you want

Living a life of laughs, love and spirituality.

About Nena:

Born and raised in Nigeria and now based in the UK, Nena Ubani aka Duchess is a multitalented presenter who has had the opportunity to interview so many leading African and international names for Voice of Africa Radio and Guess radio, and she is also a columnist for Africa world newspaper Ireland. Later founded Duchess TV and the Igbokwenu radio with the aim of providing a platform for promoting talent and positivity in her community. She has also worked in conjunction with the Metropolitan Police London as a youth mentor, engaging young people as a way to combat crime. Nena continues to do her work in dignity representing the new face of the African woman wherever she goes.

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“What list?”

In Beauty, Contributors, Family, Finances, Lifestyle, Relationships on August 9, 2013 at 11:14

By Michelle Fairweather

Michelle Fairweather

Something happened to me during my 29th year of life…I started to feel old. I don’t know when it happened. Maybe it was when I saw the increasing number of grey hairs in the rear view mirror each morning. Maybe it was when I was tagged in that photo that was clearly taken to show my ever-deepening wrinkles. It may have been that fateful Sunday when I realized it was taking me a whole weekend to function after a not so heavy Friday night. Or maybe it was when I found myself realizing that certain body parts who normally enjoyed a rather ‘north’ vantage point had started to migrate south. It could have been when I stopped going to weddings and started attending baby showers and, ever increasing in popularity, divorce parties. It might even have been when my 16-year-old godson, the godson whose nappies I remember changing, called me for relationship advice…No, stop the press, now I remember…The sinking feeling that life was well on the down slide to aging occurred when a good friend pointed out that my days of a 20-something-year-old female were numbered. I won’t lie, turning 30 was horrendous. I put on a brave face and told everyone it wasn’t that bad but really my trained counsellor self was only easing others’ fears, because deep down I was dreading it.

Why was turning 30 such a dreadful experience? It was because something, someone, somewhere was making me take stock of my 30 years and measure them against a ‘list’ of expected accomplishments. I don’t know how this list exists, it’s not written down anywhere, no one tells you, no one hands you a secret envelope that self destructs after reading, and it doesn’t arrive in the mail in disguise as a birthday card. However, let me assure you, the list is very real and it appears to be available in any language. It exists inside every 29-year-old and is screaming out at you with every dwindling 29th year sunset. It’s the list that determines how successful you are. It determines how proud you can be at your high school reunions and it gives you a method in which to measure the productivity of the past 30 years. If you score well you can kick back, relax and hold your head high whilst you blow out those 30 candles. If you score badly, well, huff those candles out before you set the place on fire with the knowledge that you’ve got your work cut out before you get to the next marker of 40.

So, what did I find when I sat down with pen and paper and the list?

Well, in regards to housing I didn’t have a picket fence, I was still house sharing. Under relationships, I noted I wasn’t married and I certainly didn’t have children. I was yet to work in my field of study and against assets, well, even if you let me count my pushbike, I was pretty much asset-less.

So, what section of this mysterious list could I check off? I’ve travelled. In actual fact, I’ve travelled a lot. I uprooted my life at 27 and have lived in three different countries. I’ve seen the gorillas in the mist in the depths of the Congolese jungle. I’ve watched the fireworks over Paris as the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve. I’ve eaten a champagne breakfast in the Masai Mara and I’ve laid in-between two sleeping tigers in a canyon in Bangkok. I’ve stood over the grave of the mighty King Henry and I’ve learnt what a joy blackcurrant and true Irish Guinness is. Last but not least I’ve clocked up enough frequent flyer points to possibly do it all again. Yet, when compared to the list I am left with one measly section marked off.

Who is it that determines what the list should include? Who states what makes a successful 30-year-old? When compared to a mother and a wife who is on maternity leave from her dream job why should I hang my head in shame and feel the need to explain that I had been out of the country for 3 years? Why did I feel the need to uproot my life again at 30 and head home to my country of origin in search of ways to mark more items off the list? Really what I should have done is asked my two 30+ housemates to help me look for the originator of the list. That way we could have sent them a lovely gift basket full of food that they may, possibly, one day, choke on.

My advice to all those 29 year olds…If the positive in your life outweighs the negative, hold your head high and scream from the rooftops that you embrace the wisdom that being 30 brings. When that doesn’t take away the dread, just remember a celebrity such as Jennifer Anniston. At 30 she was still not married, not yet divorced, was childless and had a dreadful haircut? Success is what you make of it. Ignore the list at all costs!

About Michelle:

Born in Adelaide, South Australia to British parents, Michelle grew up with the aim to one day travel the world. When rapidly approaching 30 and after exploring the track farless trodden in places such as Africa and Asia, Michelle settled in the UK for three years. However, when the need to buy furniture and fancy cutlery became too strong, she returned to her hometown to determine if it was still home. A graduate of psychology, Michelle knows this move will not be easy but is excited about what’s ahead on the other side of 30.

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Thanks to Belinda Otas for spreading the word about “Now that I Am in My 30s” to all her followers in England, Africa, and around the world!

In Contributors, News on July 8, 2013 at 12:00

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Have you sent us your essay about Being 30+? Today starts the 1st Round of Editing! Send yours before July 1st!

In News on June 6, 2013 at 09:30

Hello World!

How are you doing?

Hope you are having a great week!

I am pleased to announce that TODAY we are sending the first batch of essays to our editors! My heart is racing!

I would like to thank Laura Abréu, Carole Dufour, María Delgado, Sabrina Sinclair, Anya Piña, Sky Sterling, Carla Ponce, Susie Dantzig, Yahaira Sosa, Libby Creagh, Patricia Cedeño, Ivy Rueda, Yosely Cedano, Gladybell Bruno, Sonya Stoa, Laura Barboza, Zania Sala, Carolina Santurian, Johanna Salazar, Tuti Loor, Manuela Frencia, Yarimar Uribe, Igmar Uribe, Mar Simo, Joline Matika, Veronica Barrios-Garcia and that beloved friend who decided to contribute anonymously for believing in this project, for trusting me  and for sharing your most personal feelings with me and the readers of “Now That I Am in My 30s”.  I am so grateful and proud of what we are doing together!

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For those of you who have not sent your essays yet:

“Now That I Am in My 30s” would love to hear your story about turning 30, being 30+, and what matters most for you now!

We will be accepting drafts until July 1st!

Please click below for more info:

https://laurasgroi.com/2013/05/28/would-you-share-your-experiences-being-30-please-join-us-before-june-14th/

Please share this post with all your friends around the world! We want to hear stories from Africa, America, Asia, Australia, and Europe!

Can’t wait to read your essay!

With much love,

Laura

Would you share your experiences being 30+? Please join us before July 11th!

In News on May 28, 2013 at 10:28

Hello world!

Thanks so much for visiting our  blog.

As some of you know, I turned 30 last August 2012, and since the beginning of last year I was so excited and looking forward to it that I started writing a “document” about it that later became a book with the help and enthusiastic support of my friends.

This book is about what matters most for us now, how do you feel, what changes have you noticed. This is an opportunity to express feelings, experiences, thoughts, jokes, complaints and how we plan to embrace the rest of our years. We all get to vent while we contribute voluntarily to this project.

I would love to know if you would like to contribute to a project like this. You don’t need to write a chapter, it could be a paragraph, an essay or even a sentence, maybe an idea for a new topic.

To know more about this, you can also visit: https://www.facebook.com/laurasgrois

To read some contributions that we have already received: https://laurasgroi.com/category/contributors/

When you confirm your interest I will send you the basic terms and conditions and when I receive your response confirming that you accept those terms, I’ll send you the topics that they could write about or you can just get creative and start writing everything that goes through your head when you think about BEING 30+!

Thanks again for your support!

Looking forward to “reading” you soon!

Gratefully,

Laura

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