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Posts Tagged ‘India’

Never too young to hit menopause – The Hindu

In Family, Great Articles Found Doing Research, Health, Lifestyle, News, wellness on December 7, 2015 at 08:42

By Nikhila Henry| Hyderabad 

Menopause need not necessarily hit women in their fifties. As per a curious health trend, several women approaching city gynecologists with menstrual complaints were found to have had early menopause that hit women anytime between 35 to 45 years of age.

This, even as the World Health Organization calculates 51 years as the average age of menopause among women.

For Swati (name changed), her 35th birthday celebrations last year had not gone too well. While she was long past her menstruation date, she had experienced nothing more than erratic spotting. “After 35, my menstrual cycle became rather erratic where there was either too much or too little gaps in between the cycles. It was only recently that I consulted a gynecologist to realise I could have hit menopause already,” Swati, who is now 36 years old, said. In most cases, early menopause is caused by rapid hormonal changes in the body induced by change in lifestyle, food, sleep cycle and stress, gynecologists opined. In some cases, the reason could also be hereditary, they said. In three of the top super speciality hospitals in the city, an average of 40 women with early menopausal symptoms come for treatment every six months, doctors said. Over a decade or more ago, the count used to be less than a handful during the same time span.

Young women who experience early menopause usually do not notice or acknowledge the bodily changes they go through. “When you reach menopause, your body experiences several changes. But when it happens at an early age, women hardly think of menopause as the cause and treat themselves for weight loss or gain and go for hormonal therapy,” said Dr. Santha Devi, a Hyderabad-based gynecologist.

Among the common symptoms of menopause are hot flashes where the face or skin burns up without any apparent cause, spotting and erratic menstrual cycle.

For senior gynecologists, causes of early menopause should be researched on. “Whether the cause is genetic, lifestyle or even environmental is still to be asserted, and research in this area is a must,” said Dr. Santha Kumari, organising secretary of the Federation of Obstetrics & Gynecological Societies of India, adding that pollution and climate change too could be affecting menstrual health of women.

Wellbeing diet

Young women reaching their mid-thirties could keep up a healthy menstrual cycle and also look forward to wellbeing after menopause if they regulate food habits. From sticking to low fat food to eating fibre content, women could help sculpt their diet habits to make their bodies healthy, doctors said.

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Why do Indian wives turn frigid in their thirties?

In Family, Great Articles Found Doing Research, Lifestyle, News, Relationships, Spirituality on September 4, 2015 at 09:00

Indian wives

News Today by Nagpur Today

Some months ago I was interviewing sex workers from Ganga Jamuna red light area of Nagpur, whom the police and local authorities were trying their best to evict from their homes. First of all, tenants – naturally women of the same profession – were made to leave their rented homes with some legal excuse. Then ‘customers’ who dared venture into the area were beaten up with lathis and cursed roundly. (I saw this scene with my eyes and it was recorded by our cameras. When I asked if there was curfew in the area that anyone seen on the roads was being lathi charged they finally withdrew).

It was then that this not-so-young – woman said something to me I will not forget:

”Didi, what will happen to society if we stop doing what we do? Our customers might be men, but it is the Nagpur wives whom we provide a service to! they do not want to have sex with their husbands, so they come to us. If we are not there, they will get beaten, thrashed and then raped. Violence in households will increase a hundred times.”

While I was ruing over this statement, two married guy friends made sad confessions to me that their wives had stopped having any interest in sex since many years… they had seen counselors, they had seen even sexologists, but nothing had helped. Their marriage was on the rocks, actually it was over. The only reason they made a pretense of being together was for the sake of the children.

First I thought they were exceptions, not all married couples could be like that?! Then I did some research on the internet and spoke to some gynecologists and the result shocked me.

There was general consensus that over 1/3rd i.e. approx 67% of Indian wives lose interest in having sex with their husbands. Quite a few of them have never liked ‘doing the act’ to begin with! They ‘give in’ till they have kids, and then motherhood and the ‘needs of the baby’ become a standard excuse to not have sex at all.

So what are the main reasons wives turn sex-unfriendly?

-Society and parental conditioning – For decades our films have conveyed the message that only vamps are sexy and sultry. “Good and virtuous women” do not expose their bodies, do not have ‘dirty thoughts’ and have pure minds and bodies. They only sing love ballads for Gods.

-Girls are never imparted sex education properly, even upto the time they get married. They always learn about it from wrong sources and often develop a distaste for it even before experiencing it.

-In our arranged marriage system, the engaged-to-be-married couple are seldom given a chance to get to know each other better before being thrown into the marital bed together. Forget the girls, even the guys are not counselled about how to treat a wife, with love and gentleness so that she will open up to you naturally and willingly. Sometime the ‘first night’ experience will scar a young woman for life.

-Even when the two have known each other and it has been a ‘love marriage’ there are factors that hinder intimacy like over crowded Indian homes and lack of privacy; the Indian family system where even grown up children sleep with their mothers/ parents and the mother is always afraid of the child/ children waking up at the ‘wrong time’. This condition of an Indian woman has been very well expressed in a Sanskrit shloka which I used to think glorified womanhood till the real significance hit me. “Woman is a wife momentarily but a mother eternally” it says.

-Fear of pregnancy. In most Indian couples it is upto a woman to practise family planning. She can take the pill, wear a Copper T or go in for an abortion if an ‘accident’ occurs. Husbands do not like wearing condoms, and many women resent it too since it leads to erosion and injury specially when sex is forced upon them when they are not ready or aroused enough.

-And finally, it is the attitude of men that puts wives off this intimate and loving act. They treat sex with wife as their birthright will claim it for physical gratification not realizing that for a woman it is her emotional needs that have to be fulfilled too… in short, they want foreplay.

So what is the end result?

-Many married women suffer from psychosomatic disorders, which show up as physical ailments. Like body ache, headache, migraines, general weakness and an apathy towards everything. These complains become further excuses for not having sex.

-Frustrated husbands can take to staying out, drinking, and finally patronizing sex workers.

-Physical abuse of a wife will increase and the man may also end up suspecting her of infidelity and having a lover on the side.

Unfortunately, this fear is sometime not unfounded.

If you have read between the lines well, the significant expression is ‘frigid towards husbands’.

Women are also creatures of the flesh and do have desires and sex instincts. It is one of the most powerful natural desires.

When a woman will not find it in her marital bed, she can as easily stray as any man.

Facebook and the ease of interaction through social media like Whatsapp, even messaging has made it very easy for strangers to connect.

There are many Lotharios who ‘specialize’ in identifying and hunting down lonely women and giving them all the (fake) romance they want. Towards one goal only – getting them in bed for their vicarious pleasures.

Sometime, as shown in the movie “BA Pass” an ambitious woman will herself snare a young man and use him “commercially” by lending him out to her friends as well.

In extreme conditions, this sexual frustration also leads to horrendous sex crimes where again unfortunately the law is applied quite lop lopsidedly.

Men who are genuine rapists will get away but a man and a woman who have had sex with mutual consent are always suspect in the eyes of society and even our police and our courts.

Thus after some months/ years of an affair, if an adult woman goes and complains that the man has ‘exploited’ her sexually with the promise of marriage, or a role in a film a modeling assignment or even a job, the guy is accused of ‘Rape’. There are well known cases where such guys are behind bars for 6-7 years already.

So what is the solution?

We need as a society to acknowledge that a problem exists and only being more open, liberal and informed about it we can solve it.

We are the country where ‘Kamsutra’ was written for God’s sake but now we have allowed narrow religious notions and conditioning to consider sex as something ‘dirty’ and unwanted. We need to break out of this mind set and learn to enjoy life and matrimony in all its glory and potential rather than treating it as a punishment!

…Sunita Mudaliar

Source: Why do Indian wives turn frigid in their thirties? – Nagpur Today: Nagpur News

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Male Version 3.0

In Career, Contributors, Family, Lifestyle, Relationships on December 18, 2014 at 14:01

 By Igmar Uribe

Igmar Uribe Final

It took me a while to write something not because I didn’t have anything to say, but because I have no writing skills whatsoever, anyways here it goes. (Thanks Laura Carolina for the push…te quiero amiga!)

I was born in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic or as I like to call it “Platano City”. My father Servio Uribe like every other father is a superman; he is an actor/director/professor of theater, poet, artistic light specialist, charmer, nature lover and well-rounded Dominican tiguere. My mother Lidia Ariza is an actress/director/professor of theater and theater owner. My father prefers drama or tragedy while my mother favors comedy; this I believe somehow made a difference in my character.

I grew up in Gazcue, a quaint neighborhood in the center of Santo Domingo, playing in the gardens of the National Theater or stealthily breaking into the Palace of Fine Arts, where my father used to teach, to catch the latest play, watch the national ballet rehearse or simply wander around looking for something that would grasp my attention.

As a kid, I was always very anxious thinking about the future and wanting to be an adult. I wanted to be Porfirio Rubirosa! I used to daydream about how I wanted my life to be and in all fairness for quite a while it turned out pretty close, except for the Rubirosa flavor.

Growing up I was convinced I wanted to work in a strict corporate environment wearing suit & tie behind a desk, somehow be exposed to different cultures and have the chance to travel the world. Upon high school graduation, my priority was getting a job and making money so I hit up the newspaper classifieds and found an ad, which described a position that fit my skills at the time, speaking English and knowing how to work a computer!!! So I call this place and got an appointment for an interview. After the interview the person leading it says: “everything is fine, you are good for the job, but…” I was celebrating until I heard, but, “…you are only seventeen years old so legally we cannot hire you” she completed her sentence. I was bummed out, but then the lady continued “as soon as you turn eighteen if you still want the job give me call”, six months later I had a job.

When I turned twenty, I decided to move out of my parents’ house, which is a very bold move in Dominican society, but hey, I was making my own money and I wanted to be fully independent. Then something much unexpected happened.

There was this childhood friend with whom I went to school; she was (and still is) beautiful, enormously intelligent, very funny, kind hearted and way out of my league or so I thought; but then somehow the universe conspired so that the two of us looked at each other as more than friends. A wonderful relationship flourished quickly and everything seemed to be going simply amazing.

Three months into this great relationship the place where I worked was going through some big changes and due to business requirements decided to relocate to another country offering me the chance to move with them initially as a trial for three months. After discussing this with my better half I was off to incredible India. The 3-month period was coming to an end and I was offered to stay permanently, at this point the only thing I wanted to go back to in the Dominican Republic was my girl but I had a great opportunity which I did not want to lose. I had to have both!

She accepted my daring proposition. We married and started a life together in a far land having only one another. Years passed and we moved to a different country, travelled throughout the world and enjoyed life to the fullest. Sadly, six years later the relationship as a couple ended, however the strong friendship and unconditional love that I feel for her remains to this day and I intend it to remain for the rest of my life.

Now that I am in my thirties, I work in a corporate multicultural environment, but very far from the suit & tie attire. I have travelled the world reasonably; I have felt much corresponded in love and have experienced many of the things I daydreamed about as a kid. I can’t complain.

Everything changes and so have I. Being honest, I think I have become somewhat self-centered because I don’t want anyone to depend on me and this has made me take serious decisions. As Bob said, “The truth is everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” I on the other hand, don’t want to hurt anyone nor be worth suffering for. Will I stay like this?

I see my life at this moment as a new chapter; I feel that little by little I am breaking away from a stiff, boxed, completely paved and structured life. I pay more attention to the things that matter, I am thankful, I tell the people I love that I love them, I take risks, I act foolish not taking myself so seriously, I look into having as much fun as I can, all the time, I use every opportunity I can to make others feel good and I strongly feel that the only thing I can consider completely certain in life is that one day we will no longer be here so I am not trying to uncover the mystery as to why we are here and what is my purpose, I am just going to enjoy the heck of it.

Comedy&Tragedy

This is how I see my life. Balanced between happiness and sorrow. (Comedy & Tragedy).

P. S.: It’s Igmar’s Birthday today! Show him so love in your comments below! Congrats my dear friend! 

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“A Recap of My 30s”

In Contributors, Lifestyle on July 1, 2013 at 09:15

By Tuti Loor

The fact that I get to write about my 30s as a “looking back at…” more than “Now that I am…” seems funny to me. I really don’t feel this old.

I’m 38 as I write this, but I can honestly tell you, except for the few times when I wake up with a new ache, most of the time I feel as if I’m still 23. I dress in jeans and t-shirts, I wear sneakers. I don’t have kids and I still don’t do well with responsibility and commitment.

I can also tell you (from experience) that being in your 30s is equally good or better than being in your 20s. By now I know who I am and I know what I want (maybe I don’t have everything figured out, but I know that much) I have less friends, but better ones. And my favorite part… I really don’t care what people think of me anymore (and I used to).

Being a TV producer, instead of a list, I’m going to share a “recap” of the last 8 years. In order, from the time I turned 30 ’till today.

I had my first time long term relationship (9 years and counting)
I was “let go” from my job for the first time.
I sold everything I had, got a backpack and travelled through England, Egypt, Jordan, India, Nepal, Thailand and Cambodia.
I let my hair grow back again (I shaved my head for 2 years before that)
I spent 2 lazy weeks in the Galapagos Islands.
I lived in the Keys for 2 years.
I wore my gray hair proudly.
I got my first boat.
I sold my boat.
I also sold my car and my motorcycle because…
I got and RV and drove all the way to Alaska.
I lived in Alaska for 4 months.
Then I drove the RV back to the Keys.
I went to Sundance for the first time.
I bought a house with a yard.
I got my first tattoo.

So if you are one of those people who think somehow your youth ends at 30… well, I have to stop writing now. I have to go get ready for my cruise around the Mediterranean. Peace!

NOTE: Remember that we are interested in reading about your experiences being 30+!  

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