The last five weeks have been tough. In 40 days I lost my godmother, received a huge bill from the IRS, worked on an interesting, but extremely demanding project, had another expensive dentist appointment, my toddler was hospitalized, saw my dear friend suffer the loss of her wonderful husband, and just days ago, another close friend lost his mother, who I deeply admired and respected.
I learned from my friend Anthony Alcalde’s TED Talk, that every time something painful happens, we have an opportunity to do something with our pain and what we do is our choice. We can use it to create or to destroy.
And as my eyes still hurt from crying and my heart still aches while it takes all these hits and mourns all these losses, I find myself learning important life lessons without even trying. Learning how to be a better mom inspired by the words said by my cousin about how my godmother Madrina Belén chose to be a Mom above everything in her life. Learning how to live, work and love wholeheartedly inspired by the hundreds of beautiful tributes written remembering Moses Shumow, and learning the infinite dimensions of happiness and success that a professional woman can achieve when she works hard, something I celebrated about Heather Heaps since the day we met.
It’s incredible how some deaths teach us how to live. As I go through beautiful memories that I will cherish forever about these loved ones, I am grateful for the lessons learned and even more grateful to be able to share them with my family and friends, including you.
For them, one of my favorite songs:
Know you are loved
Rest in peace
Dream your sweet dreams
“Til your soul is released
Beloved Child
My heart is yours
Beloved Child
Go out and open doors
With your love
With your faith
With your compassion
With your grace
Oh, with your grace
Beloved Child
Go out, spread light to the world
Be strong,
be kind,
be brave
Love you all,
Laura
P.S. Please consider supporting The Shumow Family here and/or donating to the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation [Ovarian Cancer Medical Oncology Fund] via www.thepmcf.ca.
“To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind.”
– Theophile Gautier
A month ago, I lost my dear friend Leana. One of the most caring and smartest beings that I have ever had the honor to be friends and work with. I used to call her my consultant, she was my hotel roommate, my travel pal, my partner in crime, my neighbor, my favorite Nica, my light warrior, and much more. She made me her sidekick in endless adventures, and I will be forever grateful for that and for everything I enjoyed and learned from her.
Leanita became my family and made me part of hers. She opened her house to us the same way she opened her heart, with no reservations. We enjoyed our friendship to the max, since day one. She was an amazing, fun, thoughtful friend.
As my other dear friends Melissa and Ana said: “She was loved, valued, and respected”. An inspiration to everybody around her. She taught me valuable lessons of love and integrity until the end: Loving her was respecting her. She knew that I felt both for her. Quoting Theophile Gautier above: I loved her with all my mind and admired her with all my heart. She knew that, and so did our families, friends, colleagues and clients.
She will always live in me. Her smile, her laugh, her professionalism, her passion for the entertainment industry, her respect for the craft, her style, her wit and wisdom. She will live attached to my heart like the beautiful orchids she gave me once for my birthday, now blooming in my patio attached to the mango tree.
I will always love you my friend. Thanks for sharing it all.
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Even though as a teenager you may feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders you must know that the best is yet to come. You are still very young and naive and that is good. You must let time give you gills and courage. You are strong and beautiful and every decision you have made in the past as well as those that you will make in the future will shape you in unimaginable ways. I wish for you to be happy and free. So for that, I give you the following words of advice.
Congratulations on being such a responsible and disciplined student. Those two traits will get you very far in life especially during your 20’s. Those two traits will also be your downfall. You will work tirelessly and you will soon figure out that you cannot work without a purpose. In order to have a purpose you need to live with purpose. You may not know what it is now, but you will find out. Time will grant you that gift.
Keep saving your money. You won’t always manage it correctly, but for the most part, you will be frugal and wise with it. In fact, you are so good with money that you will help others learn about the value behind it. If you live within your means everything will be alright.
Don’t search for love in those that can’t return the emotion. Love will find you unexpectedly and it will be the kind of love that you never imagined existed. It’s truthful, pure, imperfect, effortless, real and incapable of harm or hurt. It might just be under your nose. Just remember, if you want to experience love at it’s highest level, you must surrender to the emotion when it comes to greet you.
It’s ok to break the rules every once in a while. And guess what? You will. All in good faith. Know that some rules don’t apply to you and it’s ok if you differ. And you must differ since no rule book is intended to be “one-size-fits-all”. You will take risks in life that will scare you, but they will all be worth it in the end. You’ll be fine.
Zania, you will discover that music is not your life. You will figure out that the reason for your voice is that you have one. Your voice is your instrument for conveying a message of hope and service. You will inspire through your voice whether in song or not.
You don’t need to prove to anyone that you are an artist. You just are. In fact, you don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Don’t sing because you are told to. Sing because you want to. Sing because you are happy and it makes you feel good. That will make all the difference.
You know how you’ve already picked family weekends at the beach over parties or staying over at friends’ houses? That doesn’t change. To you, family always comes first. Nature is also the reason why you love the water, wind and sun so much. It feeds you. It speaks to you. It syncs with you. Go out to nature when you need to recharge. All you need to do is look outside.
Don’t be so worried about what the future will bring. It’s ok to prepare and plan ahead, but don’t try to think too far ahead because there comes a point where the horizon gets blurry. That’s ok. Some things are better left to the unknown. Experience will light your way. You have your feet on the ground and a good head on your shoulders. Don’t be so hard on yourself and don’t give up.
Your love for your brothers will remain to be like a steel chain. Help them out and ask them about their life. Get them to talk to you. They look up to you and you should open up to them. You three together have an unbreakable bond that will last a lifetime. Be vulnerable with them. You will only benefit from it.
Know that you are very much like your parents. Both of them. Don’t you ever deny that. They have taught you well and because of them you will grow up to be self-reliant and filled with love. Make sure to hug them and let them know how much they mean to you. Love them as they have loved you.
Know that the love of your life is alive and unknowingly waiting for you. He is tall, handsome, smart and sensible. He makes you a better woman and he doesn’t judge you. He loves you, respects you and supports you. He will fight for you and always treat you right. He sees you. He feels you. He lives for you. You picked the right one. Your heart knew that all along.
Live everyday in the presence of love and gratefulness and you’ll see that life is really just about that. You get what you give. No drama. Just love.
I hope these words of advice challenge you and make you think. However, in the end, you can take this letter, crumple it up and throw it away because everything explained here has already been done. You did it. You did it without a rule book. You did it on your own and you survived. You moved mountains and you were great at it. You let love conquer you. You loved in return. You grew up. You are compassionate, you are strong as hell, you are vulnerable and openminded and you are capable of being in touch with your inner voice. Your soul is pristine and at peace. You know you are special and unique. You are meant to be great. And you will be. But give it time and work hard. You’ll figure it out. Best of all, you’ll be ok because your #1 fans will always be there for you and it’s ok to lean on them once in a while. Don’t pretend to be an idea of someone else. Just be your true, authentic self and you’ll see how life will surprise you. Go out there and breathe.
Zania, count on me for anything. I will always be with you, protecting you.
Xoxo,
You, at the sweet age of 30.
NOTE: Remember that we are interested in reading about your experiences being 30+!
