Inspiration & Expert Advice on What Matters Most

Posts Tagged ‘lessons’


In Career, Contributors, Finances, Health, Lifestyle, Relationships, Spirituality on June 30, 2014 at 07:42

Laura Barboza
At the “tender” age of 28, a wise 30+ year old gentleman by the name of Mr. Oliver once said to me “Your 20s are for learning and your 30s are for living.” Those words impacted me heavily, as I was not only learning a lot at that time in my life, but I was also eager to get past the uncomfortable Saturn Return phase I found myself in. Having just moved literally and diagonally across the US from Miami to Seattle, I was struggling to find emotional balance, professional prosperity and growth amidst a very different culture than my own, with a complete new set of acquaintances, and within a broken economy. I was unemployed, confused, and homesick. Reaching my 30s was an anxious goal as it carried the significance of stability for me, especially after Mr. Oliver’s words circled in my mind daily. I was embracing the learning lessons, but I really just wanted to live!
To cope with the many changes I was experiencing, I turned to yoga and was successfully reaching an internal depth and awareness I would have never expected to achieve so suddenly. I began to spiritually reach towards a higher self while attempting to get through the daily challenge of the emotional and mental transience I was inevitably living through. My ultimate goal was to reach my 30th year as a strong, successful and serene being. I therefore collected every bit of energy in me into making this happen. I was determined to shine rather than conform to the “downhill” effect most folks fear when reaching 30. And to support the idea of glowing rather than greying, I was informed of the concept of one’s “golden birthday”, where the day of your birth aligns with your age, and magical moments arise. To my fortune and surprise, I was born on June 30th.
While looking forward to embracing Mr. Oliver’s advise to really live during my 30s, I decided to set a very defined 2-year plan for myself. I sought to complete a master’s degree prior to my 30th year celebration and expand my yoga practice to promote the idea of finding myself in the best physical shape of my life (yes, my life). In addition, I was seeking to implement and practice grace in everything I did, said, thought and became involved in. Grace meant stability in so many ways. Handling anything that life blew my way with complete objectivity, managing confrontations and less than positive moments with ease, and becoming a centered person in every sense was all I wanted.
I’ve since come to understand that finding grace is a lifelong endeavor, and as much as I try, it’s not a daily possibility (at least for me). However, what matters about this aspiration is that it continues to remain my ultimate goal, and though I may stumble more days than I’d like to admit, I strive to be gentle and forgiving when I falter, while remaining humble and grounded when I’m on top. Which brings me to the conclusion of my story. I’m 30, I’m learning, and I’m proud to say I’m humbled every single day. Learning and living are not mutually exclusive. They are able to coexist in the same way we are able to coexist with individuals, emotional situations, and environmental factors. To add to my virtue, I can say that where I find myself at 30 is not where society wants me to be, nor where my pride led me towards. I’ve learned that to be happy we don’t have to fit in, we don’t have to be comfortable, and we don’t have to make money. And isn’t that the true definition of living?
About Laura:
User Experience Researcher in the Seattle area. On her free time, you can find her amidst friends and in one yoga pose or another.

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“My thirtieth birthday”

In Contributors, Lifestyle, Relationships, Spirituality on May 12, 2014 at 08:22

By Yarimar Uribe Ariza

laugh bnw

I have recently been blessed with reaching thirty years of my life, and everything is supposed to be different, to feel different, or so people say, yet it doesn’t. I still feel like a teenager when I see the guy I like. I still smile like an idiot when he looks my way or even after he kisses me. I still do stupid things that I end up regret immediately after. I am supposed to be all grown up and yet I still feel like a kid.

I have gotten this far and still don’t have the answers. I have lived so much but still don’t know where I am supposed to go or even how I am supposed to get there. I know things have changed, but I can’t really say how or when.

We are supposed to walk in our paths and learn so many valuable lessons along the way, yet, I feel I have learned nothing and life is ahead of me, waiting, inviting.

Maybe it’s not about figuring it all out. Maybe it’s about just walking ahead and trying to be smart enough not to make the same mistakes. And if by any chance we were not smart and ended up messing up even more, then, maybe it’s about having the strength to say “I made a mess, now let me try to fix it, and if I can’t, let me just move on, keep walking”.

Maybe we are not supposed to “grow up” but “grow wise”. I would surely prefer the latter one.

I don’t have the answers, but maybe, just maybe, I am not meant to.

About Yarimar:

Just her. She is a dreamer, a believer, a hopeless romantic, a writer of the things the soul can’t say. 


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30 Lessons Learned by 30

In Great Articles Found Doing Research on October 22, 2012 at 09:00

By Erin Joy Henry-The Huffington Post

Recently I had to travel out of town for work, and was grateful that it was to a city I used to call home. I planned to visit old friends and catch up with them in a way you can only do in person. I arranged to stay with one of my best friends, and fellow 30 year old on the last night of my trip. This wasn’t just any friend. She was the kind of friend that I used to call at 23 years old at 4am and in a fight with my boyfriend AGAIN. She would always pick up the phone and welcome me into her home with open arms and a cup of tea. She’s one of the most generous, beautiful and loving people I know and I was excited to spend some much overdue time with her. We had grand plans to go out and catch up in a trendy restaurant with lychee martini’s in hand, but after 30 minutes admitted to one another that all we really wanted to do was talk, stay in with her dog and be in bed by 10. We figured this had something to do with our old souls and elevated level of maturity we’d found as we’d entered our fourth decade here on earth. So as we sat on her balcony and enjoyed the sights and sounds of a grand thunderstorm pouring down, we caught up on our individual lives and were once again reminded how parallel our universes still ran despite the fact that we lived in separate cities these days.

Our heads hit the pillows at our planned time and it was there in her bed, like girls in junior high at a slumber party that we began talking about all of the lessons we had learned by 30. The multitude of life experiences we had between the two of us were incredibly different, however many of the lessons we’d learned from them were exactly the same. The compilation of lessons we’d learned by 30 began deep and heartfelt, and by the end we were in hysterics over how seriously we sometimes take life and we were reminded how important it is to lighten up and laugh at ourselves on a regular basis.

So here it is: 30 Lessons Learned By 30
– The most important things in life are your relationships.

– The things you’re afraid of letting go of are the things that hold you back from being your true self.

– Honesty is the best policy in relationships. The truth will come out eventually.

– We are all on our own unique time lines. Wherever you are on yours is exactly where you need to be. You will soon find out why.

– Being vulnerable isn’t always comfortable, but it’s so much easier and takes much more courage to ask for support when you need it then trying to do everything all alone.

– You must be happy being alone before you can be happy in a relationship. How do you do this? Be nicer to yourself and get to know who’s in there. Learn to love the places that hurt.

– The outer expression of your life is a reflection of your inner reality.

– Judging yourself gets you nowhere. The same goes for judging others.

– Forgiveness of yourself and others just makes life easier. That includes your parents. They did the best they could with what they had.

– What you admire in others, you possess somewhere inside of you.

– Personal growth, soul searching, spiritual awakenings, therapy and any other form of self-help are things to be proud of, not ashamed of.

– You are not your old issues anymore.

– Gratitude is essential.

-True friends love you equally on the best day of your life and the worst day of your life.

– You are worthy of love.

– It’s not your business what other people think of you.

– Losing ten pounds won’t make you any happier.

– You find out who your true friends are when you have to move.

– It is completely acceptable to put yourself $11,000 in debt if your dog needs surgery.

– The worst part about being single is having to stuff the duvet into the cover alone every time you wash it.

– Matzoh crackers and coconut water are the best cure for hangovers and the healthiest option available.

– If you consistently date men in finance and it’s not working, there’s a reason.

– It’s 2011. If someone gives the excuse that they’ve lost their phone as a reason for not returning your call for a week they are lying.

– If your friends act like they are living a fairy tale life, they’re lying.

-If your bed is in your kitchen, you need a bigger apartment. I don’t care if you live in Manhattan.

– At 30, it’s not acceptable to date men you meet on South Beach.

– If you don’t have any close female friends, you’re the problem not them.

– If you desperately want a man, get a dog first. You own him, snip him and put him on a leash and drag him around. The only crap in the relationship is his and you can just toss that in the trash.

– If a man asks you to feel the weight of his black credit card, RUN!

– It’s easy to bash men, but they have their own struggles in life just like we do.

– When you’re 30, memory loss begins to set in. We had some other good ones but I already forgot them!

In closing, as my dear friend said before we fell asleep, ” We are very wise young ladies. I know we know all that is listed and yet our true test is our ability to apply it all daily… weekly if we are lucky enough.” Isn’t that the truth?

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