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Posts Tagged ‘30s’

Lessons on Hearing Deeply + Complimentary Coaching Call

In Career, coaching, News, Relationships on July 26, 2016 at 11:00

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For years I longed to become a Certified Coach and develop a combination of professional and personal skills to help others unlock and reach their greatest potential. As I mentioned on one of our June posts, I am currently training to be a Certified Professional Coach with the University of Miami, an Accredited Program by the International Coach Federation (ICF). 

To my surprise, on our first day of Coaching school, I realized I was going to be the one who would benefit the most from this program in my personal life and relationships.

Still, my main goal with this Certification is to share this gift with you.

That is why I am thrilled to tell you my learnings of the first practical module: Hearing Deeply.

What has changed about how I listen to others?

What has changed about how I listen to others is my own awareness of the way I listen. I always thought I was a big listener considering the time that I dedicate to listen to others and their willingness to talk to me, but I never realized I was not a good listener, I was not intentional in my listening.

 

Thanks to this class, I want to listen as I have been listened to, therefore I am working on goals in deep hearing, starting with the following steps to achieve them:

  • Stop multi-tasking and immerse myself in the conversation, being quiet and present.
  • Being conscious about not interrupting the speakers.
  • Observing without judgment, assumptions, and respecting the point of the speaker while honoring them with my whole listening.
  • Not bringing up my experiences, offering a shortcut solution or unsolicited advice.
  • Allowing silence to be part of the conversation and even embracing it as an answer.
  • Becoming an accomplice and confidant in my conversations.
  • Understanding that most of the time the person only needs to be heard and that itself helps.

On a positive note, I realize that coming from a place of gratitude, I am developing a sensor that notices opportunities for reinforcement, encouragement, celebration, and triggers mindful questions.

I am looking forward to a new kind of conversation and achieving a real communication exchange, based on the hearing deeply skills that I will continue to practice as a listener.

If you would like to give Coaching a try, I am offering a complimentary 30-minute call to meet and decide if we would be great partners! Please contact me to schedule your call! And if there’s anyone in your life who might benefit from Coaching, please forward them this email. I thank you in advance and they will thank you later!

How do you like to be listened to? Is that how you listen?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

Your Coach-to-be,
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Laura
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Is Stress Stalking Your Life?

In Career, Great Articles Found Doing Research, Health, Lifestyle, News, Relationships on February 2, 2016 at 09:00

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Are You Aware Of The Dangers Of Stress?

Source: Is Stress Stalking Your Life?

One in four of us admits to feeling stressed every single day, but too often we do nothing about it. Writer Lizzie Pook, 30, found her way back from burnout… 

It was in a stark A&E cubicle, while a consultant slowly inched a camera up my nose and down my throat until my eyes streamed with tears, that I realised things had to change. Up until that point, my health had been slowly spiralling downwards. I had been blighted for two years by an endless cycle of infections and flu. I’d recently been diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome, and was suffering other bizarre physical symptoms, too: strange and erratic spasms in my nose, a numb tongue, angry rashes all over my body and a constant ringing in my ears. Eventually, things came to a head, and my GP packed me off to see if emergency-room doctors could explain the terrifying choking feeling that was rising in my throat.

The diagnosis that day was not hugely surprising. My body was being ravaged by stress, and it was reacting the only way it knew how. If I didn’t make some significant changes in my life, the doctor said, I was heading straight towards burnout and was at risk of making myself seriously ill. We may brush off stress as weakness or even inconvenience but, the truth is, it is having a debilitating effect on increasing numbers of women in the UK. Recent studies have shown that over half of all women would describe themselves as ‘moderately or extremely’ stressed.

Four out of five of us believe we push ourselves too hard, and a recent survey by Sanctuary Spa found that an estimated 12 million women feel that they are on the verge of burnout. It’s no surprise we’re feeling more stressed, either. Studies suggest our ‘have it all’ generation is struggling to juggle high-pressured jobs, financial worries and the never-ending quest for a decent work/life balance. For me, the causes of my stress were not unusual: a little self-doubt, a lot of anxiety, and the constant fear of disappointing others (particularly at work, in my high-pressure job as a journalist, where I would constantly put in overtime to prove how committed I was). That’s not to mention the tendency to over-worry about my family. In fact, since the death of my father 10 years ago, I’d felt sort of responsible for the happiness of everyone in my family; surely that’s enough pressure to shake the foundations of even the strongest woman.

But this constant anxiety began to gnaw away at my brain like a burrowing parasite. It soon affected my behaviour. Every morning on the journey to work, I could actually feel my blood pressure rising. I was so on edge that if a harried fellow commuter bumped into me, I’d huff and sigh theatrically. If someone started reading my newspaper over my shoulder, I’d eyeball them with embarrassing pantomime incredulity. There was no relief at night, either. After a frantic day at the office, I’d lie awake into the clammy early hours, convincing myself that my mother was having a heart attack, or that my brother simply wouldn’t wake up the next morning. The anxiety was so all-consuming, it felt as if I was losing my grip on reality.

‘Stress changes the way your body functions,’ says Neil Shah, director of the Stress Management Society. Our bodies are only designed to be in a state of stress, known as the fight-or-flight response, for a short period of time – just long enough for our ancestors to fight off the sabre-tooth tiger, for example. But according to Shah, if we stay in this state for extended periods, high levels of the stress hormone cortisol are released, damaging our immune, gastrointestinal, neurological and musculoskeletal systems. ‘Things like digestion, the reproductive system and our pain responses are also diminished,’ he says. ‘Because the body is focusing on keeping only our vital organs working and pumping blood and oxygen to our limbs.’

This means those under extreme stress can suffer a bizarre range of symptoms, including palpitations, hair loss, changes to their menstrual cycle and even miscarriage. That’s not to mention adrenal fatigue (where the adrenal glands function below necessary levels, causing profound tiredness and burnout). One woman I know was under so much pressure in the run-up to her wedding that she broke out in angry hives all over her body five days before the ceremony.

Back in that A&E room, I knew I had to make some changes – to turn my life on its head. The decision involved risk: leaving a job I absolutely loved to travel the world as an unemployed woman approaching her thirties (gulp). But I felt compelled to see what effect taking a hiatus from my normal routine would have on my wellbeing. So I handed in my notice, packed my bags and spent three months travelling the world (sleeping in tents, reading countless books and eating what the hell I wanted; not worrying about my expanding waistline or the state of my hair). Amazingly, my physical symptoms quickly diminished, and I felt happier and more relaxed than I had done for years, despite having left my dream job behind.

Now I’m home, forging a career as a freelance writer, and I have a new approach to life’s worries. For some of us, stress and anxiety will be an ever-present part of our daily lives. It is always going to manifest itself in some way because it is as much a part of us as our fingerprints. We cannot simply banish stress forever. But if we can learn to recognise when it’s getting too much, when the scales are tipping just a bit too far in the wrong direction, and take action, then perhaps we can assimilate it into our lives in the least harmful way possible. That’s what I’m hoping…

Don’t throw that monitor! Listen to stress management expert Eileen Burns…

1. Make a list and focus on one thing at a time. Multitasking is the main cause of stress, lack of focus, poor concentration, fatigue and anxiety.

2. Take a breath when you’re overwhelmed. Simply drop your shoulders and become aware of your chest rising and falling.

3. Have regular tea breaks and leave your desk for your full lunch break to encourage the body into a more relaxed state.

4. Move. Even stretching at your desk helps reduce muscular pain, tension and circulation problems.

5. Stay hydrated. Dehydration adds pressure and stress to the body’s systems.

Photo: Monkey Business Images/REX/Shutterstock (5103856a)

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Christmas at 30: How we celebrate Christmas!

In Family, Great Articles Found Doing Research, Lifestyle on December 24, 2015 at 09:00

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Source: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/christmas

30 without kids

Christmas at 30: Without kids vs With kids

Source: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/christmas

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Bye-bye 30s!

In Career, Contributors, Finances, Lifestyle, Relationships on August 7, 2015 at 10:10

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By AK Cespedes

My 30s started with a breakup. He and I weren’t as compatible as I thought we were when we were in our 20s. I had chosen to stay with him too many times, talking myself out of walking out. Afraid to be alone until I finally chose to let him go.

By 31, I was living in my new apartment. I was still reckless with my money and my heart, feeling vulnerable and overly confident at the same time. I was desperately looking for my prince charming, the man of my dreams, the man who would make his wife, his queen, the mother of his children. I hadn’t realized that I needed to become the woman of my dreams first, the queen of my home, the b**** in charge.

And so I became involved with the wrong man…again. And for 6 years I woke up each day knowing that I was not where I wanted to be and he wasn’t the man for me. I hadn’t recognized that I had a voice and I needed to listen to it, but the fear of the unknown was too strong. During those 6 years, I sought signs everywhere and waited for something to find me, guide me…rescue me.

Turning 40 was not something I was looking forward to at that time. I was afraid that I was never going to meet that man or that I was never going to have children. I tormented myself with thoughts like “my grandmothers are old and they’ll never meet my children” and I thought of the women in my family who had never gotten married or had children. They were alone and sad. I was terrified of becoming like them.

When I finally let go of that relationship of 6 years, I felt like I had reached the surface of the ocean. Like the world had just rolled off my shoulders. I had been carrying all this emotional weight to the point that it had turned physical. I was 30 lbs overweight. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. I was destroyed. I needed to recharge with urgency.

So I took off to Paris because why not? And I had sex with a French man on my 37th birthday.

And I enjoyed

every

second

of it.

Suddenly, I felt like a kid in a candy store, like I could do anything! So I quit my job of 8 years and took off for 43 days to travel. I went to Italy, Germany, Czech Republic, Austria, and Hungary. I turned 38 in a club in Bologna getting free vanilla vodka shots from the bar owner. I danced with the owner of the Firenze train station and was hung-over the next morning. And I was happy.

At that time too, I decided it was time to forgive myself for everything and allow for a clean slate.

By 38, I was doing a lot. I launched myself as a photographer and I couldn’t believe how smooth things started flowing from there. I had 4 gallery showings within a year. I read a poem in front of an audience. I chose to change my body. I chose to become the best version of myself before I turned 40. I needed a massive makeover: physical, emotional, spiritual, mentaland then some.

Now I’m a few months away from the big 4-0. I haven’t found the man of my dreams, but I am the woman of mine. I don’t have the children that I had been longing for, but I’ve allowed myself to be a child again and stand under the sun and breath the ocean air and drive with the windows down. Every day became the best day. I didn’t recognize myself anymore and not because I became a redhead and lost those 30 lbs. I had found that person that was always there. I had come full circle. I had rescued myself. I had found peace.

So 40, bring it! I am not afraid of you, I love you and I embrace you. I embrace you like I embrace the lines on my face, the grays in my hair, and the scars on my heart. There’s no going back to where I’ve been, my 40s will be the best decade yet!

And to you my 30s, thank you. You showed me what true love really was. You shook me up and redefined “rolling with the punches.” I learned to listen to myself and to those who were there to offer their experiences and life lessons. I learned to stop beating myself up for my mistakes, but rather celebrate each of my accomplishments. I learned to let go and to trust that my life was going to be everything that I wanted to it to be.

About AK Cespedes:

Peruvian-born, Miami-resident, daughter, sister, friend, traveler, photographer, food-lover, drinker, spectacular. Check out her previous post in our blog: “Me at 38” and her amazing photographs at: flickr.com/bluedress7

P. S.: It’s A. K.’s birthday today! Let’s show her our love! Happy birthday, my dear Karina! Thanks for opening up and sharing the best of you with us!

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Is a woman “middle-aged” at 30? 40? 50? Japanese men and women give different answers in poll

In Great Articles Found Doing Research, Lifestyle, News on July 3, 2015 at 10:38

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You may have heard that Japan is obsessed with youth, which is ironic for a country with an ageing population , this is ironic. In fact, Japan is purported to have the highest proportion of elderly citizens compared to all other countries. With so many older folks making up a vast percentage of the population, why is Japan’s society still often casually ageist, particularly towards women?

A recent poll asked “at what age does a woman become middle-aged?” and the results are extremely telling.

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Stats Show Women Using Abortion More Often as Birth Control to Save Their Careers

In Career, Family, Great Articles Found Doing Research, Health, Lifestyle, News, Relationships on June 23, 2015 at 09:22

By Sarah Zagorski

In the United Kingdom, women in their early thirties are now more likely to have abortions than teenagers, according to a new report from the Department of Health. These women are usually unmarried and aborting because they want to “save” their careers.

The Daily Mail reports that there were 184,571 abortions in England and Wales last year and of these, half were performed on women who already have children. Another commentator, Jill Kirby, said, “It is disturbing that abortion is so high among women who are not just making mistakes or having one-night stands. There are many women who want to have children but then for financial or relationship reasons decide not to.”

However, Ann Furedi from the pro-abortion British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS), said, “Given that women are fertile for more than 30 years, it is unsurprising that women may experience an unplanned pregnancy or a pregnancy they cannot carry to term on more than one occasion. No form of contraception is 100 per cent effective, and women will always need straightforward access to abortion services as a back-up if they are to plan their lives and families in the way they see fit. Having done so much to improve contraceptive services for younger women, we must also ensure the needs of older women are met.”

Click here to sign up for daily pro-life news alerts from LifeNews.com

The BPAS added that 51% of all abortions in the United Kingdom are medical abortions, which are abortions that use mifepristone (Abortion Pill, RU-486) and misoprostol drugs to induce miscarriage. Unfortunately, it seems like older women in the United Kingdom are using abortion like a “back-up” form of birth control even though preventing a pregnancy and killing a unique human life are two very different things. These women really need to be informed of the risks associated with abortion, especially as it relates to the dangerous RU-486 abortion regimen.

As LifeNews previously reported, since 2001, 12 women worldwide have been documented to have died from fatal bacterial infections involving toxic shock syndrome, sepsis and gas gangrene after medical abortion with mifepristone and misoprostol. In fact, there have been so many problems with the deadly drug that the makers of RU-386 and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration have acknowledged that it poses serious health risks for women.

In 2011, Paul Tully, the general secretary for the Society for the Protection of Unborn Children in the U.K., said the following about RU486: “Use of RU486/misoprostol may cause any of the following: hemorrhage requiring blood transfusion, severe pain requiring strong pain killers, incomplete abortion, rupture of the uterus, vaginal bleeding, abdominal cramping, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, headache, muscle weakness, dizziness, flushing, chills, backache, difficulty in breathing, chest pain, palpitations, rise in temperature and fall in blood pressure,” He added, “The number and diverse nature of the side effects of RU486/ misoprostol point to the fact that these are powerful chemicals.”

INTERNATIONAL   SARAH ZAGORSKI   JUN 10, 2015   |   2:54PM    LONDON, ENGLAND

Link to Source: Stats Show Women Using Abortion More Often as Birth Control to Save Their Careers.

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Is there a baby in your future? What women need to know

In Family, Great Articles Found Doing Research, Health, Lifestyle, News, Relationships on June 6, 2015 at 10:03
Many women don’t think about getting pregnant until their 30s. Photograph by: Milan Markovic , milanmarkovic78 - Fotolia

Many women don’t think about getting pregnant until their 30s. Photograph by: Milan Markovic, milanmarkovic78 – Fotolia

Last week marked Canadian Infertility Awareness Week, a time to acknowledge the one in six couples affected by infertility.

Most women begin their reproductive life learning how to prevent pregnancy, but equally important is knowing how to increase their chances of pregnancy should becoming pregnant be something they hope for in their future.

It seems unfair, yet it remains a biological fact that female fertility declines dramatically after age 35. Statistics Canada shows us that in the 1970s the average age for a woman to have her first child was 24. From a biological perspective, this was ideal for maximizing fertility in women. Today, many women are not even thinking about getting pregnant until their 30s.

So what has changed? Today’s women find themselves placed in a social pressure cooker. There’s pressure to pursue and be successful in a career, which can require years of education and financial costs. This then pushes the opportunity to find a life partner and to have children further into the future for many women. Reproductively speaking, education and career goals are not often reached at a biologically optimum time in a woman’s life.

The obstacle of human biology

Women are well educated on how to maintain a healthy lifestyle and how to reduce the effects of aging. However, the effects of age on fertility cannot be controlled. Trying to have a baby later in life remains a challenge regardless of how good a woman looks or feels.

Human physiology has not caught up to our present way of life. Fertility decreases drastically once a woman enters her mid-thirties. We are born with between 1-2 million eggs, and by puberty that number has decreased to 300-400 thousand. By 37, most women have around 35,000 left. These remaining eggs are also aging. This leads to an increase in chromosomally abnormal eggs and an increase in the number of miscarriages in this age group.

While age is a common factor, there are other medical conditions that impact a woman’s fertility. These include obstruction of the Fallopian tubes, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), endometriosis and a male partner with low or abnormal sperm.

How science can help

Education about the impact of age on fertility can help women with their family planning. If having a biological child of your own is in your life plan, it is important to start trying when you feel ready. However, if the opportunity isn’t there to pursue that dream until your mid to late thirties, there are options.

Technology such as egg freezing has revolutionized female fertility preservation and is providing women with greater choice. However, it is not a guarantee. The quality of eggs frozen affects the outcome, which is why it’s better to freeze eggs when you’re younger.

It is important to understand the process used to freeze eggs, the success rates and experience of the fertility clinic. Egg freezing is much more delicate than other in vitro fertilization (IVF)-related procedures, and choosing the right medical partner is important. At Genesis Fertility Centre we are proud to have a post-thaw egg survival rate and fertilization rate of 95%.

Seek help early

While medical intervention increases the odds, there is no method or technology that guarantees a pregnancy. Many underlying fertility issues remain undiagnosed until you begin to try for a child. The earlier you seek help, the more options there are if you run into challenges. Consult with a physician if you suspect underlying fertility issues. You should also consult a physician if you’ve been trying to conceive for a year without success if you are under 35 or six months if you are over 35.

For more information visit genesis-fertility.com

This story was provided by Genesis Fertility Centre for commercial purposes. Postmedia/Laura Sgroi had no involvement in the creation of this content.

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Did you wait until you were 30+ to start your family and have kids?

In Career, Contributors, Family, Lifestyle, News, Relationships on January 13, 2015 at 15:04

Would you like to be featured on a major online outlet? 
 
One of the biggest online companies approached us because they are looking for American couples, in their early to mid-30s, who recently had kids to be featured on an online news story about the pros of delaying marriage/kids.
 
If you would like to be recommended or recommend one of your friends, just let me know!
 
Thanks in advance for your cooperation!
 
Your biggest fan,
 
Laura
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The 10 most important life lessons to master in your 30s

In Family, Finances, Great Articles Found Doing Research, Health, Lifestyle, Relationships on January 6, 2015 at 09:52

Our 2014 Year in Blogging

In Contributors, News on December 31, 2014 at 01:24

Dear readers,

Today is the last day of the year. An unforgettable one.

From my heart to yours, thank you for reading, liking, following, and sharing this blog.  Your support inspires me!

I wish you an amazing 2015, filled with pure joy!

Check this out:

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog. Please take a look below and let me know your thoughts!

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,300 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 55 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Who loves you?

Laura

P.S.: Would you like to give the gift of inspiration to your family and friends in their 30s? Sign them up to receive our posts in their inbox! Just invite them to visit www.laurasgroi.com, where they can enter their email address on our home page. Thank You So Much!

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